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Now what?

I was diagnosed with uterine cancer on June 20, 2019.  The next day was just a day to somewhat absorb what I had just found out about myself.  That Wednesday,  I went in for a CT scan and I found myself crying when I was put in the hole.  This isn't supposed to happen.  Not me.  This is not what I signed up for when James encouraged me to go to the doctor in the very first place.

That night, James, Farrah, and I went to McGlinn"s for a nice dinner.  Farrah was in one of her most unpleasant moods throughout the time we were there and when we finally wrapped it up, James took his truck to get it ready for the next day, while Farrah and I jumped into my car.
I'd said, "You know, I'm going through some hard stuff right now and your behavior and attitude is shit.  This is the time we are needing you to buck up and try, just try to be a little bit nicer."
Farrah's response: "I don't even know what's wrong with you BECAUSE YOU WON'T EVEN TELL ME!"

And she was right.  She didn't have a clue as to what was happening because I didn't want to upset her with news like that before she went to Mexico with her dad.  So, I gave her 60% of the information I felt was appropriate for he to know.  I'd explained that while I'd wanted the uterine ablation, the doctors decided I needed a much bigger surgery than planned and that I was very upset about it and scared.  At that moment, she got teary eyed.  I kept things as simple as possible for a 12 year old to take in all at once.

We hugged and I got her home so she could do her last minute packing.  Because I had an appointment at the UW medical hospital which is about 3 hours from our house, I was unable to give her the kind of good bye I normally would have...but I needed to keep my cool and not have her ask too many more questions.

James took us to the UW hospital for my appointment with my oncologist, where we ended up meeting up with my brothers and my parents.  I had my very own entourage.  The doctor had already read the CT scan results and retested the tissue from my biopsy as they wanted a second opinion.  She agreed it was uterine cancer, but to be on the safe side, she and her resident doctor both gave me a physical exam and we had the first and second opinion right on the spot.  Not uterine cancer...cervical.

Either way, it was cancer and not something that I wanted in my body.  "HOW DARE YOU, BODY?!!"  The nurse found a large enough conference room to sit in and go over my options.  And when I say "large enough" I mean we were squished together like a can of sardines.   Dr. Urban sat at my left, and James was at my right.  I had been told that the kind of cancer I have has an 80-90% success rate so if I had to have cancer, this is the one to get.

Option A:  Chemo therapy and radiation.  This would be a 5 week treatment where radiation would be 5 days a week and chemo would be once a week.  My hair would thin out but not fall out, my skin would get sore and dry, lots of fatigue, and I'd have a dry mouth (or something like all of that).

Option B:  Radical hysterectomy.  This would be where the uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, and tissue surrounding everything would be removed.

They both had their pros and cons and it actually took a lot longer than I thought it would to decide.  On one hand, I love my job and I love to work.  5 weeks of treatment and some discomfort while still doing my job...sounded like something right up my alley.  However, I would lose my ovaries and I am adamant about keeping those intact as they will provide me with my natural level of hormones rather than having to take a hormone pill for the rest of my life.
The radical hysterectomy allowed me to keep my ovaries and the rest would be like what several women go through (minus the cancer).  I would be able to work from home with little to no side effects.  In the end, I chose the hysterectomy because it would only be a 3-5 day stay and I could heal at home and that would be the end of it.

The best part that helped was all the humor James, my brothers, and my dad had at the expense of my lady- business.  There were a ton of laughs and that helped lighten up the mood that this was really happening.  After lunch with the family, James and I went for a walk around University Village.  "What ever you want, baby.  I'll get you anything.  Play your cancer card and I'll pay for anything you want."  We left Crate and Barrel with a new spatula and potato masher.  I love him.





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